Work Orientation

I left home around 7:30 AM and the start of our orientation would be 10:00 AM. Yes, because it’s Bulacan to Ortigas trip. I didn’t expect that there would be too heavy traffic because the routine’s normally fast. Vehicles were not moving, they just moved an inch every after five minutes! I was teary eyed when i saw the time was 9:25 and yet the bus was still in North Fairview. My tears was about to fall but i noticed the guy beside was looking at me. Prolly he was confused why my eyes were watering. LOL. It was difficult to find a job, seriously guys. I just couldn’t afford to lose it in just a blink of an eye because the reason would be that i was late for the first day.

I was able to reach the company building at 10:30 AM. I was thirty minutes late, and my heart was pounding very fast. When I entered the Orientation Room and Ma’am Kath looked at me, in an instinct i said: “I’m sorry Ma’am, I’m late.” (put the big anime exaggerated teary eyed) .

Thankfully she smiled and said that it was okay, that it’s just the orientation day and reminded me not to be late on Monday for our training. 🙂

P.S.: The reason why the traffic was heavy because of that motorist bumped in a car. Tssss! And yes, i don’t work on cams anymore. 🙂



i feel like i’m left behind. my batch mates graduated, but until now, i don’t know how life can be so cruel on my path ahead.

i’m still hanging in this world i never wanted to be.

when i was a child, all my dreams were clear. i could be better this day.

but where i am? where am i leading? i wish i could stop the time.


Fuck my life

giving up never came into my mind, not until i became a cam girl. i  believed that life wasn’t unfair, people just complain too much.

not until this point, i realized, LIFE IS UNFAIR.

there would always be people who’ll make your life’s view more bitter and bitter.



Sunset In The City

I never thought i would be noticing the  sunset with my busy mind. I walked with too much worries for the hindrances waiting for my future, but then i smiled when i saw the sunset.

I’ll be facing a new life, a life which i wanted to be and never thought that will be happening soon.

I was on my way to Mercury Drug Store after I bought a College Entrance Examination Reviewer Book. When I had a glance on the book, it made me realize how rusty were my brain cells. It made me sad. I remembered my batch mates, i was so jealous seeing those graduation pictures of them. Those status which indicated their happiness after  their agonies with heavy homework’s, undying examinations, intemperate thesis. I wanted to feel how to be in that tough college student life too!

Now i feel blessed that I will be in college! I am worried and somewhat excited. Enough said.

Reminds me of my Papang (Dad)

Reminds me of my Papang (Dad)

I was thankful that i reached the place , i fell in line to buy some medicines for my eldest sister. But i was drowning with pity with the old guy in the picture. He reminded me of my Papang . I was really teary eyed looking at him on how he counted those coins for medicines.  I saw he only had P5 coin left. If you could see those hole in his shirt! Oh well, this just made my day awful. How life could be so cruel?

Yes, I know. that question is over-rated. I just can’t help it!

**Anyways, I am going to my hometown. My Papang is still in the hospital, but he’s doing okay now. Thank God.


My Day

Today, I am happy.

Even though I have so many things to do in life.

Even though I have lots of problem issues.

Even though I am missing my parents way back in Isabela.

Even though I haven’t gone out much with my friends because i’ve got a fucking “job”, yes, let’s just call it a JOB.

Yeah. And so many more reasons to not be happy.

Happiness is a lot like love. It’s a choice :] (And even if you’d disagree/even if it isn’t really a choice, I’d still believe it to be that way.)

Happy Birthday to me, this is the day i deserve to be happy. I thank all those people who still stand beside me though i’ve caused pain through that pain someone gave me. I learned that, when i was on top 20, i used to be jolly before. So i think i need to be happy now, and accept everything. 🙂



i’ve been off path for a year now.. and i didn’t know i would  gain friends, best friends.. and i even loved someone through this adult-cam site.. that was my second heartache..

i was a tutor of four kids, and i didn’t even know that i would left them .. i’m earning easy money with all those nasty shows, without considering how do i feel with it..

different bosses, different studios.. i even had the worst boss, but i had learned that it’s just a matter of adjustment.. i’ve been into top 20, i was those AsianGirl and FilipinaAngel.. but  when the time ACM cancelled my AsianGirl account room and took my 1,200 minutes (equivalent to P12,000 for my percentage as a model), it felt like shit! With all those tears behind the camera, i did everything to please all those members who took me in private without them noticing i was hurt doing such thing i’ve learned from the very start that it’s part of the seven deadly sins..

it came to another boss with FilipinaAngel, everything was alright, except the thing that we’re only being feed once a day.. imagine working while you’re hungry.. haha..

and now, i am trying to be on top 20 again, but that bastard ruined all. and i lost some of my friends because i did a mistake sending that stupid group message in YM. i was badly hurt that time, and now it doubled the pain seeing those people who’ve been so nice with me on web being distant with me.. though i don’t know them yet personally, i treasure them much.. and it hurts that with some stupid mistake, they will be all gone..

dites merci et je suis .. désolé, vraiment désolé que je ne sais pas si cela désolé travaillera toujours parce que je suppose que vous m’avez effacé sur vos contacts..


middle finger for you

i am fucking mad and tears are rolling down my cheeks right now.


what’s wrong with you? okay to you “fuck_filipina_pussy” , i wish you’re dead now, i wish Abu Sayaff’s woud get you and beheaded you!!!!

what’s wrong when i said i prefer Filipinos, than whites?  Did you ever read my continuation on my first sentence before you closed the button? Do you really need to close the button, and rate me 0?

filipinos are far having  good hearts than you. you’re more stupid than my race.


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